long haul

So, the United States does have a favourable policy in respect of senior citizens, despite not giving John McCain a sniff of the Oval Office in the Presidential Election.
The cabin crew of the United flight to Washington from Heathrow must have had an average age of 58, and that was with a spritely thing in her mid 30’s on board.
Transferring through Washington Dulles, cardboard cut out Obama proclaimed there was hope, and just round the corner there were t-shirts on sale shouting “Don’t blame me, I voted for McCain and Palin”. Only in America. The reactionary regressing the intellectually repressed. Result.
En route to Florida from DC the trolley dollies were mature gay men, elegantly wafting tasteful cologne as they whizzed up and down the aisle with similarly ageless in flight delights.
Sat behind us was one Barry Pryor, who appeared to be giving a demonstration of the airline’s new policy of allowing cell phones to be used during the taxi process.
“Yeah man, you would not believe what happened when I walked into the rest rooms at the airport this morning,” roared Barry to his unknown acquantance. “I found this fucking titanium bracelet, man, with five freakin’ huge diamonds set in it,” he said with all the authority of the buyer at Tiffany’s.
Barry looked like Rizzo from Midnight Cowboy on a good day or Lenny from Strange Days on a bad one. He had a black and green ring through each ear lobe, and seemed a generous type.
“I could sell this thing and buy you a freakin’ car,” he enthused to his next caller. That this could have been a family heirloom or prized anniversary gift which happened on the floor of Minneapolis airport’s toilet did not trouble Barry. To be fair to him he was nice to children, or specifically my 6 year old youngest one who kept asking him why there were so many lakes in the Orlando area as he looked out over Central Florida on the approach to an interesting landing in 40mph cross winds.
Barry and his booty disappeared in the direction of the shuttle bus. I did not see his morals.
On to the Clarion Hotel on Universal Boulevard, marching to the beat of holidaying college bands from the northern states soaking up the sunshine for spring break.
For the past two years visitor numbers have been down, and there is a hint of desperation in the air over the theme parks.
Universal is making a major investment in a Harry Potter attraction, with cranes towering over the ramparts of Hogwart’s behind the ‘work in progress’ hoardings.
This year’s principal new arrival is the Simpsons Ride. If Americans don’t get irony, then the marvellously elaborate schtick putting this in the context of Krustyland, a theme park within a theme park will go over many heads this summer.
Due to open this spring but still clearly under construction is the other big investment, Hollywood Ripe Ride Rocket.
There are many offers for cheap packages to spend days at both Universal and Disney.
More tired than some of the park’s more senior attractions are taking a time-share tour, listening to a sales pitch for 3 hours in exchange for half price tickets.
If theme park crowds are falling, it is a safe bet that the queue to own a week every other year in one of these glorified holiday camps is not getting any longer either.
Tales from this bizarre JG Ballard scenario will continue on this channel….